Beginning training or re-training after having children is intimidating! There are so many questions that pop in our heads. How can I train with kids? Where will they go? Can I bring them with me?! Can I dedicate myself to training after having children? So many questions!
Dear readers, this is the story of Shayne, my training partner who is a devoted mother of four beautiful children. Her family has a common love: jiu-jitsu!
Here is a little about her jiu-jitsu journey with a family:
BJJ GIRLS MAG: Can you tell us about how your family started training in jiu-jitsu?
Shayne: It all started on a freezing cold day. My kids, well, one in particular, were driving me crazy all winter long. It was especially cold that year and I was looking for something to get their energy out. I was driving down a street in my town and saw a sign at a local jiu-jitsu gym. I asked my husband if he knew what it was. He knew a little because of UFC, but thought it would be a great thing for my oldest son. So, my son started first and loved it! I sat in on his classes and secretly really wanted to be out there training as well. I just knew I would love it. Our fourth baby was still pretty young, so starting seemed really intimidating and just impossible. A few months later after my son’s first competition my oldest daughter came to me and told me that she really wanted to start training as well. I was so happy to hear this! After she started, my friend and I were watching our kids in class and we both admitted that we wanted to try it! We were fortunate to have a women’s only class that made the dive into jiu-jitsu much easier!
BGM: How long have you been training? Have you had to stop for any reason?
Shayne: My son Corr (8) has been training the longest at two years. My daughter Remi (10), 18 months. I have been training a little over a year and my husband has been training on and off for almost a year. Jett (4) has been training for about 6 months and Finn (2) thinks he is black belt and is being raised on the mats. The kids train three to four days a week and I try to get in five to six days. We have had a broken big toe and a broken hand but none of us have had to stop training for a large amount of time.
BGM: What are your expectations in your jiu-jitsu journey?
Shayne: I hope that jiu-jitsu brings me a lifetime of physical and mental happiness! I hope that our family continues to train together and that jiu-jitsu is something that we will come together and do throughout our whole lives. My goal for my children is to maintain the physical health and confidence that comes from training. My personal goal is to win a Masters Worlds one day and I would love to eventually teach a kids class! Basically, training as a family has been a challenging but very rewarding experience. We all have a common love of jiu-jitsu and even though we train a lot, it is something that we can do together. It takes a lot of pre planning and a lot time spent at the gym. The kids keep asking for mats in our house, but I love my walls too much! I am very nervous for when they become teenagers, they are going to kick my butt!
BGM: How do you train and compete being a busy mom of four kids?
Shayne: Honestly, I am still trying to figure this one out. The number one thing for me is that I have a very supportive husband. He understands how important jiu-jitsu is for me and my sanity! He knows that it makes me happy and that it gives me something to work towards. It makes me feel like I am my own person! The balance between training a lot and family life is hard and it requires some sacrifice and a lot of prep work! I have some things that I do during the day to make our evenings of training run smoothly! I often cook our dinner during the day and have it ready to pack for the kids at the gym or for when we come home. When the kids come home from school they get all of their gear ready to go. Sometimes if they don’t finish their homework, they bring it to the gym to finish after class. There are some days when I can just tell they need a break from the crazy schedule, so we take a guilt free day off!
BGM: Any tips for the moms who need to take their kids to class so they can train?
Shayne: Again, still trying to figure this one out! But I have two words: Popcorn and Netflix. At first bringing them to the gym was stressful! They eventually got used to it and things are better now. The older ones help me a lot with the younger ones, keeping them quiet and entertained. When I train during the day I only have the baby with me. He is really content in his stroller eating a million snacks and watching a movie! I try to change out the bag of toys with different ones so they don’t get bored.
BGM: Are my teammates understanding and supportive with kids being there?
Shayne: YES! And for this I am truly truly grateful! My biggest fear is my kids interrupting and disrupting someone else’s precious training time. I always am apologizing to them if my kids are loud or happen to Kamikaze themselves at me while I’m rolling! My professor and teammates are very understanding. Some of them have kids themselves but I’m more impressed by the ones that don’t. I feel like they have accepted my kids into our crazy big jiu-jitsu family! There have been a few times though, when the kids have had enough and just go wild. When this happens it is just best that I excuse myself from class and take them home. I would rather disrupt my training than everyone else’s.
BGM: How are tournaments when everyone is competing?
Shayne: Expensive. Hahaha. My older two kids and I are the only ones that compete…for now. Tournament days are exhausting but so much fun! My husband is a Neuroradiology fellow and is very busy. If I am lucky, competition days fall on a day he isn’t working. Being the very supportive guy he is, he takes the reigns with the younger two. I am usually busy getting the older ones warmed up and where they need to be. I get so excited for them! I do a lot of excited yelling. By the time it’s my turn, my nerves have all been spent on the kids and I am ready to go! I love the exciting energy at tournaments!
Shayne is about to compete in her first major championship, the Charlotte Open. She has devoted a lot time to training and has lost 20 pounds to fight in a new division. She has been an example for the whole team and we wish her the best of luck!
I hope these answers encourage mothers to take their first step towards training. If Jiujitsu leaves you intrigued or curious, do not wait and do not keep it to yourself. Grab a friend and get on the mats! Jiu-jitsu is a sport for everyone, even you moms out there! There may be some obstacles and some planning required during the day. Do not give up! With love, patience and persistence it is possible! The Jiu jitsu journey is worth it.
